Mess Without You
by josiewrites
Summary: Maya has always been good in a crisis. Up until Riley ends up in the hospital. Riley/Maya. They're in college.


Author's note: I don't know what this is. I needed to be sleeping but, instead, wrote this on my phone in the middle of the night.

Summary: Riley/Maya. Established relationship. They're in college.

Maya was always good in a crisis until it came to Riley being in the hospital.

Rating: T, mostly for cursing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Girl Meets World, it's characters, or anything else.

* * *

Maya was good in a crisis. Always remained calm, cool, and quiet. Offered advice and words of comfort when and if they were needed but mostly just gave her time and presence when things were falling apart.

Now things are unraveling and all those times in the past that she was good in a crisis? None of them matter. Because Maya is also coming undone and she can't breathe. She can't fucking breathe and the moments where she was was calm and collected? It was all due to Riley. Riley kept Maya at peace, and her breathing even, and having her hand wrapped up in the brunette's is how she stayed strong.

But right now she's broken because Riley's broken and so, so small and quiet and all the things Riley could never be described as in their every day life.

"Maya, you have to breathe," her lungs feel like they're collapsing and she keeps trying to slow the gasps in an attempt to try and just fucking relax, "She'll be okay. We have to believe that because it's all we can do right now and none of are any use to Riley if we can't take of ourselves."

It's true but Maya feels like shit because Cory, the father of her girlfriend, is comforting her when she feels should be taking care of them. They're all- Cory, Topanga, Auggie, and Maya- sat around Riley's hospital bed just being with her. Today the doctor told them they're not sure when Riley will wake up but there's plenty of brain activity and they're very hopeful that she will, they just don't know when it will be because sometimes these things can take a bit of time. That information is hard to handle.

Riley's been unconscious for eight days. Isn't that long enough? A myriad of emotions have been flying at Maya in the seemingly short time that really feels more like a thousand years. In real time, when the world is right and Riley is conscious and they're happy and together, eight days feels like nothing and maybe she's been taking that all for granted. Regret is the most overwhelming emotion of them all. Because she finds herself transported back to middle school and high school and thinking of all the ridiculous fights they've ever had and all the idiotic words she's said to Riley. The times where she needed space and wanted a vacation from Riley. Why would she ever want that? Because all she wants right now is for her to wake up, to laugh and kiss her and hear Riley say her name.

"You're right, Matthews. I'm okay. Look, if you guys want to go eat something and shower, I'll stay with her."

"You haven't left her side, Maya. We know she's in good hands with you but you need to take take of yourself, too, sweetheart."

Topanga reaches into her bag and grabs a set of keys, handing them to Maya, "Go to our place, take a shower and eat something. There's some of your old clothes you left there once in Riley's old room. When you get back, we'll go. That way, she won't ever be alone."

Maya nods, taking the keys, and places a kiss on Riley's forehead before promising to be back soon.

* * *

Maya enters apartment number twenty-six as she had done so many times throughout her childhood and teen years, most of the time through Riley's bedroom window, but it was all the same. This place was more of a home than her actual home had been when she was growing up. She takes in the familiar surroundings and the smell and feels an ache in heart as tears spring to her eyes. The couch makes her thinks of nights spent there during family game nights and movie nights, times her and Riley had fallen asleep while trying to stay up past their bedtimes. Mornings before school and evenings sat at the kitchen table for meals. Mostly Topanga would cook, sometimes Cory, and when they had gotten to high school- Riley tried her hand at cooking a few times. Maya wanted to laugh at all the memories she had of Riley in this kitchen. Riley burning toast, Riley trying to bake Maya a cake but accidentally using salt instead of sugar, exploding various foods and ingredients in the microwave. Cooking really wasn't her strong suit which was extremely ironic considering her mother owned a bakery.

There were memories of Riley all throughout this place and Maya could feel her lungs going empty again.

She makes her way to Riley's old bedroom and completely breaks down. This is where everything important in the story of Maya&Riley happened. Of course, it was all special, all vital, and crucial. Every second spent with Riley was the most important damn thing in the world but so many milestones had taken place in this room. Meeting for the first time ever, hours and hours spent just talking at the bay window, their first kiss with each other, it's where Maya asked Riley to be her girlfriend, and after that- hours spent just making out at the bay window, their first time. So many firsts and so many other things.

Cory and Topanga didn't change the room when Riley moved out and into a dorm room. Even when Riley and Maya got an apartment together in their second year of college- because they went to different schools and couldn't stand being apart, and living on campus was only required in your first year of university- Cory was very insistent on keeping things the way they'd been when Riley was growing up. When Cory was graduating high school, his parents turned his room into a nursery for Joshua. He wanted Riley- and Auggie, too, when he's old enough- to always have a place to come back to.

Maya collapses on the bed and just cries and cries. It scares her when it dawns on her that she can't live without Riley. And it terrifies her even more when she realizes that living without Riley could easily become a possibility.

She falls asleep and only wakes up when her phone starts ringing and she realizes she's been here for several hours, still having not eaten or taken a shower but she probably needed the sleep more. It's dark outside through the windows, in the room and light on her phone feels as loud as ringing the does. Maya squints her eyes to try and adjust them to the harsh light of the screen and sees it's Cory calling her and she clicks the green icon on the screen to answer.

"Matthews, what going on?" Her words feeling heavy in her mouth, strained with sleep and exhaustion and full of so much worry and concern.

"She's awake, Maya. Our girl's okay," he sounds so relieved, "The doctor's with her right now. She asked for you, we told her you're on the way."

Maya springs to her feet, "I am, yeah, I'll be right there."

She feels like she can breathe again, for the first time in eight days.

* * *

Maya runs faster than she's ever run before, knowing that running is probably one-hundred percent prohibited in a hospital but she really can't help herself.

She finally slows down when she reaches the floor that Riley's room is on and turns the corner to the hallway. Cory and Topanga are outside of the shut door, talking to the doctor when Maya approaches. Both of them look at her, soft but tired smiles on their faces. They both had aged several years in just a week, the way worry and fear had overtaken them. Maya felt the same way and they were all feeling slightly more relaxed. Maya hands Topanga's keys back to her and allows the woman to pull her in for a hug, which Maya welcomes wholeheartedly.

"You can go see her, Auggie's in with her right now. We'll be in shortly," Topanga says.

Maya's heart is beating hard and fast as she goes to open the door and then it slows down as fast as it sped up when her eyes meet Riley's. She missed that very specific shade of brown that were the color of Riley's eyes, she missed looking into them and she missed feeling them gazing at her when Riley thought Maya had no idea the former was staring at her. She finally feels calm again but her legs feel heavy and frozen in place because Riley still looks so fragile, but less broken, and she knows she shouldn't throw herself at the girl while she's healing.

"Peaches," Riley rasps, not ever having gone this long without speaking.

"Fuck, Riles. I missed you so much," she's crying and finds the strength to walk right up to her bedside and she hugs her as gently as she possibly can, pressing soft kisses to both her cheeks and her forehead.

"Um," Auggie clears his throat and points to the door, "I'm gonna be out there."

Both the girls laugh and Maya sighs happily because she wasn't sure if she would ever hear Riley's laugh again.

"You can't scare me or your family like that ever again, honey, I swear. You have to promise," and Maya is only kind of joking because life has a way of making things happen that are out of anyone's control and they both know that.

Riley indulges her anyway, "I promise."

It's enough.


End file.
